Every day it seems I find myself saying something crazy to my kid. Most of the time I forget to write it down, but occasionally I remember. Enjoy!
1. You’d better watch out, you just about poked yourself in the eye with your toe.
2. Your chicken is not a phone. Eat it.
3. Your turtle doesn’t swim in milk.
4. Don’t rub ketchup in your armpits.
5. Quit licking your toe and go pee.
6. No, I won’t show you my boobs in the middle of Walmart.
7. Crayons do not work better if they are put up your nose.
8. You can’t look through my belly button to see the baby.